Episode 33

full
Published on:

1st Jun 2023

Hockey Injuries, Naked Photos, and Crazy B***ches w/ Adrienne Ivey

This week we're talking to Adrienne Ivey who is a rancher and mama of two teenagers in rural Saskatchewan. We talked skin care tips, which cows to cull, why we're glad it took more work to share naked photos when we were young, and a lot more.

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Transcript
[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

hunter]:

your first name? Okay.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes, absolutely.

hunter]:

I just wanted to make sure it wasn't like a Adrienne or

[Adrienne Ivey]:

No.

hunter]:

something.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Plain old

hunter]:

No.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

normal Adrian.

hunter]:

Got it. Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Like think Rocky Adrian.

hunter]:

Perfect.

[caite]:

That was actually gonna be my first question. So, now we got

hunter]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

that answered.

hunter]:

Yeah. We're ready to start that. Today we're excited to be talking to

hunter]:

Adrienne Ivy, who's joining us from her ranch in Saskatchewan. So Adrienne,

hunter]:

we start each of our interviews with the same question. And so for farmers

hunter]:

and ranchers, this can cover crops and livestock, but also covers families,

hunter]:

businesses, and all kinds of other stuff. So we ask, what are you growing?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well, that's a bit of a changing topic on our farm right now. We are predominantly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a livestock, a beef cattle operation with a little bit of grain farming

[Adrienne Ivey]:

as well. So in Saskatchewan, that means the normal oats, canola, peas, wheat,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

barley, that kind of thing. But we have been changing that a little bit

[Adrienne Ivey]:

due to... economics and also due to we're getting old and we're sick of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

working so hard. So we are downsizing the beef cattle side and upsizing

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the green side. So we're really fortunate that our land can go either way.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Um, but so we're, you know, converting it from long-term forages back over

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to annual grain farming. Um, but then larger part of my day today and the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kids that I'm growing as well. We have two teenagers, Noelle who is almost

[Adrienne Ivey]:

17 and Cole who just turned 15 and like you would think of somebody who

[Adrienne Ivey]:

spends so much time mothering wouldn't have to think about those numbers

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so hard in my head before I spit them out but yeah that never seems to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

change so that's what keeps us busy on the farm these days.

hunter]:

So when you're talking about making a switch in numbers, what are you kind

hunter]:

of currently at and what is your goal in terms of, whether that's in acres

hunter]:

or numbers of head of cattle or whatever you're willing to talk about. I

hunter]:

know not everyone wants to talk about the actual numbers, but if people

hunter]:

had an idea of what we're talking about.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

open book I'll talk about anything and everything probably things that nobody

[Adrienne Ivey]:

wants to hear about so that's no problem. So at our highest we were calving

[Adrienne Ivey]:

out 1,400 mama cows and that has slowly whittled down that was a little

[Adrienne Ivey]:

bit too high of a number for our land base which all grain and everything

[Adrienne Ivey]:

included is about 10,000 acres. And so we've whittled that down to kind of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

hovered around a thousand for quite a few years. And now our plan is to get

[Adrienne Ivey]:

under 500 that we're getting calf. But along with that, we not only have

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the cow calf side, we also we keep all of our calves and we run them as

[Adrienne Ivey]:

grass or yearlings the next year, retain ownership, finish them, own them

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right through to processing for fat cattle. So we still will probably continue

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to do all of the parts of it like that, but just reduce our numbers significantly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to under 500. And along this way, as we've been slowly whittling down the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

cattle numbers, you know, we were grain farming, you know, as low as a thousand

[Adrienne Ivey]:

acres, and we'll probably upsize that to pro I'm guessing we'll see where all

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the numbers land out, but probably around 6,000 acres that that will be green

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farming here in the near future. That's the loose plan, but as I'm sure both

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of you know, plans never quite go exactly as you have planned them out to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

be, so it will be interesting to see where we actually land and how close

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that is to the plan, because I'm sure it will never be exactly what I planned.

hunter]:

Yeah, for sure.

[caite]:

and what breed of cattle do you have?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So they're commercial cattle, so you know, mongrels, but predominantly Angus-based.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

We have a little bit of Hereford in the genetics as well, just to give a nice

[Adrienne Ivey]:

little cross, the odd little bit of Semintal in there too, but mostly Angus.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

We've been running red Angus bulls for a really long time and had originally

[Adrienne Ivey]:

started with predominantly black Angus cow herd. So it's a mix of red

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and black Angus mostly.

[caite]:

I feel like that's something that a lot of non, certainly non-cattle folks and

[caite]:

maybe non-livestock folks in general don't get is that for commercial purposes,

[caite]:

it doesn't matter to have pedigreed animals generally. If you're not selling them

[caite]:

for breeding, it does not matter. And as long as they're doing well for you, it really,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right.

[caite]:

the color doesn't matter, the breed doesn't matter

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, it's such a difference

[caite]:

if it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

from

[caite]:

working.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the dairy industry, right? That is so genetics focused and particular

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about their genetics and registrations. And I don't even understand, but all the different

[Adrienne Ivey]:

levels of of the cows and classification. That's the word that I'm looking for. Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Whereas for us, we're really focused on just pure production of the individual

[Adrienne Ivey]:

cow. if she does real well for us then no matter what colour she is she'll

[Adrienne Ivey]:

keep raising babies and it's really for us it comes down to two things.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

The first is feed conversion so we need a mama cow that doesn't need to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

eat a lot herself but yet raises a good calf and but then we even take that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

back farther and it's not so much about even the cattle genetics because

[Adrienne Ivey]:

even though we're farm. For us, it's always been about the land and what

[Adrienne Ivey]:

we really have been are grass farmers and forage farmers. That's the stepping

[Adrienne Ivey]:

stone of or the cornerstone of our whole operation. So we've been more

[Adrienne Ivey]:

worried about forage genetics, honestly, than we have about cattle genetics.

[caite]:

And I know as a beef and lamb producer myself, you know, I mean, where Arlene's looking

[caite]:

at measuring butter, fat or yield or, you know, pounds in the tank or whatever, my

[caite]:

biggest concerns are, is she stupid and is she crazy? You know, like those are

[caite]:

harder to really put a number to, but you know, those are kind of the top things

[caite]:

we look for. And I mean, we have a much smaller herd than you do. So that's, you

[caite]:

know. One crazy bitch is a much larger percentage of our total. But, you know, that's

[caite]:

that's our first cut is how big of a pain in the ass are they?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well,

[caite]:

You

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it's

[caite]:

know, and that's.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so true, but also that is such a big variance from farm to farm too, right?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So because we have in May and June and they have out on pasture and unless

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you're a first time heifer, we don't touch you. Like you're checked once

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a day and we'll deal with any emergencies. But other than that, you're on

[Adrienne Ivey]:

your own and you're miles away from the nearest yard. So we actually kind

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of love the crazy bitches. because they're good kite chasers and they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

protect their calf at all costs, which is extremely dangerous if you're calving

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in the yard and you have to go and put your hands on that calf as a human.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

But for ours that are range cattle, Nope. Be a crazy bitch. Just do it

[Adrienne Ivey]:

over there where I don't have to deal with you.

[caite]:

I'll even handle them being a crazy bitch if they've got a calf on, fine.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right.

[caite]:

But, you know, like we had an Angus cow that just destroyed a whole bunch of pipe

[caite]:

gates. And I'm like, you know what? No, like you're just being a crazy bitch. Just,

[caite]:

there's no excuse for this,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's so

[caite]:

you know.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

true.

[caite]:

She went straight to the sale because it's just not worth it.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well, yeah, well, and where we run into that is when we're handling them

[Adrienne Ivey]:

as yearlings after, you know, because crazy bitch genetics are definitely

[Adrienne Ivey]:

passed down. So when they when we get into a group of really flighty yearlings

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that are impossible to handle, that's when we know we need to be tamping that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

down on the cow herd a little.

[caite]:

Yep. So are you from a farm background yourself?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I am from a farm, but not a cattle farm. I grew up on a pure grain farm,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that the only livestock we had was some 4H calves and some show horses.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So it was, and I met my husband at university, and we came back to his family

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farm immediately after university. We didn't work farming with his parents, but

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right side by side. And he always wanted to be a cattle farmer. They had

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a small feedlot and he loved the cow-calf side of it and I was like, well

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farming's farming, right? How different can it be? Turns out it's completely

[Adrienne Ivey]:

freaking different. And I had a real steep learning curve that I needed to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

figure out and do a lot of learning and a lot of adjusting my expectations

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of what farm life would look like. because the flexibility of your time

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on a grain farm is 100% different than the daily grind of livestock, for sure.

[caite]:

Yeah, I suppose with crops, you know, once they're planted or, you know, I mean,

[caite]:

obviously there's work to be done, but it's not as time sensitive generally as

[caite]:

livestock work is.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Absolutely, we got to spend time at the lake in the summer and we got to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

go on vacations in the winter and yeah, it's just a different level of daily

[Adrienne Ivey]:

expectations for sure. And then you throw in that we're a mixed farm.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So you have all of the high stress times of planting and harvest and all

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of that as well. But then the months of putting up feed in the summer. and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of course feeding cattle all winter long too. So we are lucky we have two

[Adrienne Ivey]:

full-time hired guys and they are fantastic. We could never do this without

[Adrienne Ivey]:

them so they do offer us a little bit of flexibility which has been mostly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just eaten up by chasing kids to their activities for the past 10 years as

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I know you guys can probably attest to. But yeah definitely a big difference.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

from the green and even just green farming cash flow compared to livestock

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and all the parts of it. They're just very different businesses.

[caite]:

Yeah, that's true too. I guess with grain farming, you know, the money kind of

[caite]:

goes out at one time and it comes in at one time. Where with livestock it mostly

[caite]:

seems to just go out all the time and then

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, yeah, coming

[caite]:

maybe

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in.

[caite]:

it comes in sometimes.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, I'm still waiting

[caite]:

But...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

for that, I think,

[caite]:

Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

which is why we're going to green farm more.

[caite]:

So are you guys able to support your family on what you're making on the farm? Or

[caite]:

are you... Canada's apparently a whole different place than the U.S. Where you guys...

[caite]:

I mean, there are obvious downsides, don't get me wrong. But it seems a lot more

[caite]:

common in Canada for families to actually be able to support themselves on farms. It's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

like a

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so,

[caite]:

crazy thing to the Americans,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yeah,

[caite]:

but...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

oh wow. So yeah, I would say most, maybe not most, but a good percentage

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of farms here in Saskatchewan are completely self-sufficient. Really, it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

like anywhere, there's a broad variety of sizes of farms, but for us, we're

[Adrienne Ivey]:

really fortunate. Where we wanted to farm. Right when we started farming,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

there was a lot of land available for purchase and quite economically. So we

[Adrienne Ivey]:

were really able to start right from the get-go, buying up land and getting

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ourselves to a size that we were able to not work off-farm at all. My husband,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so I mentioned my husband and I met at university. We both have degrees in

[Adrienne Ivey]:

agriculture. He farmed full-time right from the get-go. Even though our part

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of the farm was quite a bit smaller, he worked on his parents' farm as

[Adrienne Ivey]:

well and worked with them. And I had a full-time off-farm job in agriculture

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and worked in corporate agriculture for, oh, a good 10 years. And that allowed

[Adrienne Ivey]:

us to live totally off of my income and just let the farm grow, basically.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

And yeah, 10 years in, and our farm was growing exponentially. Thank goodness.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Like I said, all that land was available and we were able to buy, buy

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a good chunk of it. And, um, and the kids, I always had this idea that when

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you have kids, you know, it gets easier when they get to school and I'd

[Adrienne Ivey]:

have so much more time and freedom and flexibility once my kids were in

[Adrienne Ivey]:

school and then my kids were in school. And I realized, holy crap, this

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is completely different. It is a total new level of shit show. and I was

[Adrienne Ivey]:

needed at home more than ever. So I gradually decreased the days that I was

[Adrienne Ivey]:

working. I was able to work some part-time marketing jobs and even that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

got to be too much, which was terrifying for me to go full-time at home and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on the farm. I'm a super social person. I like to be around people. So it was

[Adrienne Ivey]:

terrifying, the idea of staying home. in the middle of literally nowhere. But

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it's the best thing I ever did. It was the scariest and the best. I'm

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so glad we've never regretted it ever since. The attention that I can pay

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to my kids and chase them around. And also just helping out on the farm too.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I definitely would never consider myself the primary farmer here, but. there's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

no doubt that we could not be at the size and scale that we're at if I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

wasn't able to be such a support system.

hunter]:

I know that Katie and I have talked about it before, but my guess is one

hunter]:

of the biggest factors in us as Canadian farmers being able to work full

hunter]:

time on the farm. And I'm able to do the same as you, Adrienne, spend some

hunter]:

of my time as a stay at home parent and some of my time farming. But not

hunter]:

having to pay for healthcare is such a huge factor in our ability to do

hunter]:

that because I look at, you know, I'm in a few different... know chat groups

hunter]:

of farm women or farm families and the costs associated with trying to fund

hunter]:

your own health care if you don't have an off-farm job in the States just

hunter]:

seems mind-blowing to me and I don't know how that works I guess you know

hunter]:

like we just don't have that expense that we have to factor in.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

You know, I've thought about that too often. Same thing with friends in

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the States and stuff. And just the cash flow, the after tax cash flow of having

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to pay that insurance and stuff. That's pretty significant. I will say, you

[Adrienne Ivey]:

know, down there, I guess they have the benefit of their tax. Their tax level

[Adrienne Ivey]:

isn't nearly as high as ours, but somebody's on the farm. That doesn't matter

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so much because livestock keeps going the way it is. And we don't pay that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

much taxes. So.

hunter]:

I was kind

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I guess

hunter]:

of thinking

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I

hunter]:

the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

can't

hunter]:

same

[Adrienne Ivey]:

complain

hunter]:

thing.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about

hunter]:

If you

[Adrienne Ivey]:

taxes.

hunter]:

have enough debt, then you

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes!

hunter]:

don't pay that much in taxes.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Exactly.

[caite]:

I know my family is incredibly lucky to have the level of healthcare that is provided

[caite]:

by my job, but I would guess that our out-of-pocket health costs to carry this kind

[caite]:

of coverage, if I had to pay for it would probably be $3,000 a month, pretty easily.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

through.

[caite]:

Yeah, which is, you know, a year's income pretty quick, and that's for four people.

[caite]:

Like, that's...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah!

hunter]:

Yeah, and that's just

[caite]:

You know.

hunter]:

one aspect of your family's needs, right?

[caite]:

Yeah,

hunter]:

That

[caite]:

yeah.

hunter]:

that's not anything else. Yeah.

[caite]:

Yep. And so

[Adrienne Ivey]:

That

[caite]:

that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is.

[caite]:

does make a big difference. And so there's a lot

hunter]:

Mm-hmm.

[caite]:

of families that maybe have coverage, but it's only maybe enough to keep from losing

[caite]:

the whole farm if something happens, but not something so bad that you hit the cap

[caite]:

and then you still have to pay for it, you know, and that's just kind of... There's

[caite]:

a lot of families getting by on... crossing fingers and, you know, hoping that

[caite]:

you actually die if something bad happens. So

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Oh,

[caite]:

it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

oh.

[caite]:

not a great system, you know.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well, and it's just the unknown of it, right? Like I'm a person who I like

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a solid plan and the plan can always change, but I like a plan. So the idea

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of not having that fallback would be actually terrifying to me. Honestly,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so again, this all relates back to agriculture, but that's a really huge

[Adrienne Ivey]:

reason of also why you're downsizing cows and upsizing the grain here is because

[Adrienne Ivey]:

government programming, very little downside to grain farming in Saskatchewan

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in today's day and age. There is all sorts of government backed insurance

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and you're almost, you'd have to be in a real big bind to get into financial

[Adrienne Ivey]:

trouble as a grain farmer, but those same backstops aren't there on the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

livestock side, especially beef that is not supply managed like some other

[Adrienne Ivey]:

livestock based things up here. So my aversion to risk and my need for a plan,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it does not bode well with the ups and downs of the livestock industry

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in Canada these days.

[caite]:

And it, you know, you guys can make way cooler drone videos up there than we can,

[caite]:

which I feel like is a real upside. You know, as someone with an almost five year

[caite]:

old son and a 44 year old husband who spend a lot of time watching YouTube videos

[caite]:

of other farms. You know, here, like if I made a drone video of us harvesting, it

[caite]:

would be like a six row head. stopping and turning around and stopping and turning

[caite]:

around. Where up there you guys can get like, you know, seven combines side by

[caite]:

side and like miles, you know, or kilometers, I guess, kilometers long fields, which looks

[caite]:

really cool.

hunter]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

Where here it would just be my husband swearing and stuff breaking down. Like that's

[caite]:

not really

hunter]:

Can you hear

[caite]:

four-year-old

hunter]:

the swearing from

[caite]:

friendly

hunter]:

the drone?

[caite]:

content. Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

land basin is it's very rolly lots of wetlands lots of bush so therefore

[Adrienne Ivey]:

lots of turning and

[caite]:

I didn't

[Adrienne Ivey]:

lots

[caite]:

even know

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of

[caite]:

there

[Adrienne Ivey]:

swearing

[caite]:

were hills in Saskatchewan, I guess.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yes

[caite]:

I guess I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

well

[caite]:

just figured it was.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

no like we're we are not flat at all and in fact that's why we have been

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a livestock farm for so long is because who wants to farm frickin hills

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in Saskatchewan so yeah but another interesting point is out east they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

might measure farmland by kilometers but out west we measure it all in miles and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it's because the way our land was surveyed every single field is a square

[Adrienne Ivey]:

160 acres and is yeah measured in miles not kilometers so I am nine miles

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I live nine miles from our closest town called iTunes But yet I live 120

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kilometers from our closest city Which is Regina because as soon as you

[Adrienne Ivey]:

go over like the 20 mile line, then you just think in kilometers It's very

[Adrienne Ivey]:

confusing

[caite]:

So weird. I will

hunter]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

I will admit to

hunter]:

measurement

[caite]:

that I'm from.

hunter]:

makes no sense.

[caite]:

I'm from central Iowa, which is very much grain farming, and it's measured by sections

[caite]:

like it sounds like it is up in your place. For it's you know, if you turn left,

[caite]:

what, three times, you're at home.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

[caite]:

And I moved to a part of Iowa where if you turn left three times, you're in Wisconsin.

[caite]:

You know, it's I get lost all the time up here still because it's just, you know.

[caite]:

At home, if you turn left enough times, you're gonna be right where you started. It's,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Absolutely.

[caite]:

I don't know, thumbs down on this weird ass situation. But

hunter]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

there's hills up here, which I guess does change things.

hunter]:

Yeah, that's true. So, Adrienne, I know that you and your husband were part

hunter]:

of the Canadian Outstanding Young Farmer program and my husband and I were

hunter]:

two at one point through the Ontario program. We didn't get to go national,

hunter]:

so we didn't get quite as far as you guys did. But can you tell us a bit

hunter]:

more about that competition and why people should apply to be part of it

hunter]:

if they happen to be Canadian and young farmers?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes, if you are 40 or under, I highly, highly, highly, highly recommend.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Um, it's something that when we were first nominated that my husband and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I really struggled with. And when I say my husband and I just mean my husband,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

because he does not like to go and do all the things and see all the people

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and really leave the farm for anything. And I

hunter]:

make

[Adrienne Ivey]:

want

hunter]:

a presentation.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to do all of those things. Yeah. Yes. So, um. We went back and forth for

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a little bit of whether or not we should be going through with this. And

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I'm so glad we did. It's the best thing we've ever done. So Outstanding

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Young Farmers, they have different regions across Canada. It mostly goes by province,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you know, except all the Atlantic provinces are together and the territories

[Adrienne Ivey]:

join in with a province. But so every region or every province basically

[Adrienne Ivey]:

has one farm that they send on to the nationals. And through that program,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

we have made lifelong friends that I would never have crossed paths with

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in my life. I love that it is people who are doing unique things on their

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farms, whether it is finding interesting ways of using or whether it is

[Adrienne Ivey]:

doing niche markets or whether it's just like they're doing the status quo,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but they're absolutely rocking it and thinking big and taking risks. I think

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that any time that you can surround yourself with other people who are

[Adrienne Ivey]:

doing really cool shit, it is gonna make you better at whatever you're

[Adrienne Ivey]:

doing, even if it's totally unrelated to what that. other farm is doing.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I think it's really easy for us as farmers to get sucked into what we are

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just doing every single day and kind of get bogged down in our own operations.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

But even my introvert husband who doesn't like to be around all the people,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

every time that he goes to an outstanding young farmer event, he comes

[Adrienne Ivey]:

back. just excited and wanting to look for new opportunities and to think

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about things a little bit differently. I just, that is something that as farmers,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

we just don't do enough of, whether it's through this program or maybe

[Adrienne Ivey]:

peer groups or whatever is out there, maybe it's just hitting your major

[Adrienne Ivey]:

trade, egg trade show or whatever. I think we all can be better at that, learning

[Adrienne Ivey]:

from each other and inspiring each other.

hunter]:

Yeah, it's so easy to get kind of stuck in your physical place, right? And

hunter]:

thinking, well, this is the only way to do it. And this is the way it's

hunter]:

always been done. We'll keep doing it because it's safe or any of those

hunter]:

types of things. I saw a quote the other day that was like tradition is just

hunter]:

peer pressure from your ancestors.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes!

hunter]:

And it was like, I thought that was really good for agriculture too, where

hunter]:

it's like, okay, maybe this is the way that your predecessor did it. Or,

hunter]:

you know, three, four generations before. to keep doing it just because they

hunter]:

did? They didn't, maybe they didn't have any options. Maybe they didn't

hunter]:

want to do it that way. And we have to be willing, yeah, to try new things

hunter]:

and take risks and learn from other people too.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Absolutely. Yep. Couldn't agree more.

[caite]:

I think, too, one of the huge benefits I see from attending conferences and stuff

[caite]:

is getting to talk to farmers who've been doing it for 50 years and still have stuff

[caite]:

go wrong. Because I think so many farmers get so stuck in the, you know, everyone else

[caite]:

is doing amazingly and our farm is going to shit and nobody else's cows ever escape

[caite]:

and nobody else's fields ever flood and everything is great for everybody else

[caite]:

and it's bullshit. But it's not like... you know, generally we're gonna call each other

[caite]:

up and just be like, hey, did you know that my whole field flooded and all my cows

[caite]:

ran away? And you know, like, we're not gonna talk about the things that go wrong.

[caite]:

And so it gets really easy to think that it's just your farm that is struggling.

[caite]:

And it's not healthy to think it's just you.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's so true or even like even on good years on any given day, there is so

[Adrienne Ivey]:

much shit that goes sideways. And I think that we have this idea as farmers

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that like, Oh, we actually got rain this year. We're not in a drought.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's not horrible. We didn't get hailed out. Every animal on the farm didn't

[Adrienne Ivey]:

die. So I just need to suck it up because really things aren't that bad.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

when the reality is on a really good day, a lot of bad shit happens that is

[Adrienne Ivey]:

stressful and you need to figure it out and work through it. And the more that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

we actually talk about that, yeah, there is solidarity in that and that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

we aren't alone and that I had a shitty day, but so did so many other

[Adrienne Ivey]:

people and we can all commiserate together. The

[caite]:

So.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

downside of social media for sure is so much is just the highlight reel

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and agriculture social media is no different. It's a lot of beautiful drone

[Adrienne Ivey]:

pictures but it's also important we share sometimes the shit show as well.

[caite]:

And I think that's such a good point too, because I know, you know, as grain farmers,

[caite]:

we see that Instagram post of somebody's yield in a combine, you know, that they hit

[caite]:

300 bushels an acre and like, but it was for 20 feet. Like, yeah, you hit 300, but

[caite]:

it wasn't the whole damn farm. You know, so I'm wondering what your thoughts are

[caite]:

on how we can improve how honest we are. on social media and how we can

[caite]:

deal with our frustrations about it because I know too it's hard because you don't

[caite]:

wanna look like a loser. Like nobody wants to come out and just be like everything

[caite]:

is terrible, you know. But also it's good not to totally bullshit people.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right. Well, and there's toxic negativity, but then there's also toxic positivity

[Adrienne Ivey]:

too, right? And it's a fine line of not wanting to go too far in either

[Adrienne Ivey]:

direction. And then there's also the thing you need to worry about of activists

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and sharing a bad day on a livestock farm can easily sometimes be taken

[Adrienne Ivey]:

way out of context and used for, you know, some of that. driven narrative

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that unfortunately is still out there. But I think I think the core of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it needs to come from that we as farmers just like all people we need

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to be able to poke a little fun at ourselves sometimes. And like some of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the shit shows that happen I would actually say the majority of the shit

[Adrienne Ivey]:

shows that happen are our own doing and so we need to be able to be like

[Adrienne Ivey]:

look at my stupidity I just got ridiculously stuck because I was driving

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the tractor while watching a TikTok and drove right into a slew and like

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just own it and be able to laugh at it and be a bit ridiculous, right?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Because we all are and that's normal and that's okay. Yeah. I think that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

when we can allow ourselves to be seen as human... then it is just not

[Adrienne Ivey]:

only good for our own souls, but good for everyone else's as well. My kids

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are teenagers now, right? So they are quite a bit more picky now about what

[Adrienne Ivey]:

images of them I would put on social media than when they were five and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

six and just adorable, even when they were bad, right? So it's something

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that we talk about a lot that it's okay to... poke fun at yourself and it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

okay to poke fun at each other a little bit but still being mindful you know

[Adrienne Ivey]:

if before I share things about them I ask for their permission now which I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

feel like I shouldn't have to do because I freaking own them because I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

made them but

hunter]:

I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

also it's a life lesson of I don't own their image to put on social media

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and just like they need to be aware of that when they are. when they have

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a funny video of some stupid thing their friend did or whatever, right?

hunter]:

or that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Like,

hunter]:

we did.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yes, exactly.

hunter]:

We don't want that to happen. So yeah, you do have to start asking for permission.

hunter]:

Otherwise, the next time I do something stupid, it could end up

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Exactly.

hunter]:

on social media.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So, oh, and my farmer's just coming in to interrupt this.

hunter]:

Hi Farmer.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I'm doing a podcast. Oh, sir.

hunter]:

I'm sorry.

[caite]:

I'm just glad to hear somebody else tell the truth about having to ask your kids

[caite]:

for consent, because it is so fucking annoying to have to, like, model asking for

[caite]:

physical affection from someone that you literally lived inside your body for most

[caite]:

of a year. Like,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right?

[caite]:

you didn't ask permission before you just jumped all around in there. Like, why

[caite]:

should I, you know, but... It's not how consent works is, you know, you have to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I know.

[caite]:

ask unless you don't want to and then you don't... God, it's annoying. Now I'm mad

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It

[caite]:

just

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is,

[caite]:

thinking about it.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right? And like, especially when you throw in the whole feeling of ownership

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that you have over your kids, right? Like, I own your ass. I can do whatever

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I want, except shits know that's bad. So I guess I'll ask permission.

hunter]:

Yeah, it's such a strange, you know, like through that transition period

hunter]:

too, right? From like little kids to teens, there are those years in between

hunter]:

where one day they're still a little and they act it, right? And then you

hunter]:

turn around and you're like, when did we start to be able to have these

hunter]:

conversations? And now I realize, yeah, how big you're getting. But yeah, day

hunter]:

to day and even minute to minute, sometimes that completely changes.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Absolutely. They keep us on our toes. That is the one thing. Parenting

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and farming are exactly the same because no two days are the same. And

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just as soon as you think you got all your shit figured out, then everything

[Adrienne Ivey]:

changes.

hunter]:

Yeah, that's right. True, true, true.

[caite]:

So

hunter]:

So

[caite]:

I'm

hunter]:

one

[caite]:

gonna

hunter]:

of the

[caite]:

ask,

hunter]:

things...

[caite]:

oh, no, I'm gonna ask one more question. So

hunter]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

you said you have teenagers, and I'm just gonna go there because I am not shallow.

[caite]:

Why does your skin look so good? Were you 12 when you had these kids, or are you

[caite]:

like, is this a filter? You guys, like, listeners, just go look at Adrienne's social

[caite]:

media. You will understand why I'm just asking this creepy-ass question, because

[caite]:

she looks amazing. And... I generally look like I got backed over by a garbage truck.

[caite]:

Like... So, Adrian, explain your skincare routine to us, because I also, like, in all

[caite]:

seriousness, someone who's had skin cancer and, like, is dealing with all this,

[caite]:

like, weird skin shit, working outside, especially in the wind, in the sun, whatever,

[caite]:

is fucking bad for your skin. So tell us, please, because you look like someone who

[caite]:

might know something about... how to not look like shit. Thank you.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I don't know if I know anything. I do, I know a couple of things that if I am

[Adrienne Ivey]:

not wearing any makeup, there are times on social media that I'm using a

[Adrienne Ivey]:

filter. So like what you see is not always reality, but like you're looking

[Adrienne Ivey]:

at my face right now, but I have a light ring on. So sometimes, you know,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

light is a girl's, the right light is a girl's best friend. But also I would

[Adrienne Ivey]:

say I had a bit of an epiphany in the middle of COVID. to be honest, when

[Adrienne Ivey]:

everything was shut down and I was home all the time and apparently when

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you're home more, you look in the mirror more. I don't know, but I was

[Adrienne Ivey]:

like, I need to make some real changes because I'm sick of feeling like I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

look like shit. And I think we're all the hardest on ourselves, right?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

But I started religiously using sunscreen. which I've never been a sunscreen

[Adrienne Ivey]:

person. I'm kind of that in-between skin tone where I don't burn super easily,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but also I don't get real dark either. So I've just never really worried about

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it, but I should, because like if I wasn't wearing any makeup right now, you

[Adrienne Ivey]:

would see sun spots all over my face and started like actually trying to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

take care of it. So I'm not the greatest about doing a great job of cleaning

[Adrienne Ivey]:

my skin. but I'm pretty religious about moisturizing it now. And

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I know nothing about anything except that all of a sudden now I have this

[Adrienne Ivey]:

whole budget line about with skincare items that five years ago was probably

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just spent on wine. So I don't know if I'm doing anything right or not, but

[Adrienne Ivey]:

apparently what I am doing right is good use of filters and lights because

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yeah, sometimes. Sometimes what you see on social media is not the whole

[Adrienne Ivey]:

picture.

[caite]:

I will say that having skincare, especially sunscreen, in your budget is a hell of a lot

[caite]:

less expensive than going to the dermatologist to have things removed. And that if I had realized

[caite]:

earlier that generally the way skin cancer is treated is to cut it out and to just

[caite]:

keep going until it's gone, I would have started being a lot better about sunblock

[caite]:

a lot sooner. Because... Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

That's a really, really

[caite]:

It's...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

great point. And as I'm sitting here, I'm like, I never have talked to my kids,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

especially my daughter about sunscreen and like they're farm kids, they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are outside every day all year round doing chores and they're just outdoorsy

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kids too. Yeah, I should be having them. sunscreen on their face like I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

feel like in Canada we grew up we're pretty good about like sunscreen on

[Adrienne Ivey]:

our shoulders or you know our chest or places that you would typically get

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a sunburn but you never

hunter]:

Or if you're going out in

[Adrienne Ivey]:

think

hunter]:

the water,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about just

hunter]:

right?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the

hunter]:

It's like,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yes yes

hunter]:

if we're going to the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but you

hunter]:

pool,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

don't think

hunter]:

if we're

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about

hunter]:

going to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the

hunter]:

the lake,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

daily

hunter]:

then you put it on, yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yeah exactly you don't think about the daily especially like for us as farmers

[Adrienne Ivey]:

your face sees so much sunlight all the time So it's something we should talk

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about our kids with, but I don't, I haven't,

hunter]:

Yeah,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I will

hunter]:

for

[Adrienne Ivey]:

now.

hunter]:

sure. Yeah. So one of the other reasons I enjoy following you on social media

hunter]:

is looking at what you're making for supper, because I'm always in like a food

hunter]:

slump and, and you're also honest about, you know, like what you're taking

hunter]:

on the road because you're busy and you know, like sometimes it has to

hunter]:

be on the go. So can you give me some ideas for what I should make for supper

hunter]:

tonight? Cause I don't know what I'm making.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, we live our lives around car meals these days with two very athletic

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kids. We're always on the road to somewhere and because we live in the middle

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of nowhere, it's a long ways. Both of my kids drive an hour each way for

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just practices. So it's a lot of car meals around here. But my system of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

figuring out what the F we're going to have for supper that night is to mid-morning

[Adrienne Ivey]:

go downstairs, open my deep freeze and stare mindlessly at it until a protein

[Adrienne Ivey]:

jumps out at me that says, cook me today and then I build my meal around

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that. Which sometimes works awesome and then sometimes are hilarious fails

[Adrienne Ivey]:

because I have nothing to actually that goes well with that said protein. But

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I feel like some of the best meals are the low and slow meals, if you have,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

if you're around the house or the yard enough to make that happen. Love

[Adrienne Ivey]:

throwing a roast in the oven and just letting it do its thing all day long,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

whether it's a roast chicken, roast pork or roast beef. I know that in my

[Adrienne Ivey]:

freezer, the last things to get cooked every year are the things that take

[Adrienne Ivey]:

attention throughout the day. I've got about four briskets in my freezer

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right now that are just waiting for a day that has time for me to be smoking

[Adrienne Ivey]:

them and spritzing them and you know giving them all the love and attention.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Beef short ribs are all the next last thing to get cooked because you know

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that braising kind of takes all day. They're the most delicious things,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but usually the last things to go.

[caite]:

Instant pot.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

And I

[caite]:

Short ribs in the instant

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

[caite]:

pot. Perfection.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes, that's, I need to get better at using my Instapot. I, it lives downstairs

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in my basement and anything that lives downstairs feels like it's a pain

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in the ass to cart it up and actually use it. Same with my air fryer. I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

probably only use that once every couple months for the same reason. So

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yeah, but those are my go-tos. typically are things that I can cook with ground

[Adrienne Ivey]:

beef because it's quick and it's easy. Spaghetti and meat sauce we eat

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on average twice a week because it is so easy. Kids love it. You can eat it

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in the car on the go if you have to. Leftovers are perfect too. Love that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

one. That's definitely a go-to and honestly homemade pizza. We always have

[Adrienne Ivey]:

stuff in my freezer that I can throw pizza together. Again, living in

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the middle of nowhere, there are no pizza delivery options where we live.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

And it's a half hour round trip just to go and get pizza. So I just make

[Adrienne Ivey]:

our own. I've got pre-made shells in the freezer and some deli meat and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

what else do you need?

hunter]:

Those are some good ideas. I already did take some beef out of the freezer

hunter]:

today. So I've got the head start. Now

[Adrienne Ivey]:

There

hunter]:

I just need

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you

hunter]:

to actually

[Adrienne Ivey]:

go. That is

hunter]:

do

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the thing.

hunter]:

something with it.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Someday I will be the person that takes the meat out the day before. Someday,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

when I grow up, that will be me, but it's no time

hunter]:

Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

soon. It still has not happened.

hunter]:

then you might change your mind between yesterday and today about what

hunter]:

you want to eat, right?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

exactly it and I am a very, I don't know what the right word is, emotional

[Adrienne Ivey]:

cook? Like I get excited about cooking because I feel like eating that thing

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that day. So how can you decide that the day before? You're gonna want something

[Adrienne Ivey]:

different.

hunter]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

Or if God forbid

hunter]:

very true.

[caite]:

it's the day that your husband offers to take the whole family to Culver's for dinner,

[caite]:

which... You Canadians are missing out, okay? I'm just saying,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I've never been.

[caite]:

there's cheese or butter or cheese and butter on basically everything they make.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Oh.

[caite]:

It's fast food, but like, it's actually food. You know where at McDonald's and you're

[caite]:

like, I feel so much worse after eating that. Culver's is

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

[caite]:

like, the inverse of that. And they're based in Wisconsin, which totally makes them

[caite]:

locally owned and thusly okay.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

So,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you can feel good

[caite]:

no.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

about it all around. Nice.

[caite]:

Yeah. Yeah. So one of the reasons we started this podcast was because of the isolation

[caite]:

of being first-time parents. And like you said, I mean, it's a half-hour round trip

[caite]:

to get pizza here if you want pizza from the gas station, you know? And so a lot

[caite]:

of the parenting groups we were in, there was a lot of, you know, just... get it

[caite]:

door dashed or take an Uber or get a nanny or whatever, like things that will

[caite]:

not happen. So what was the transition to motherhood like for you?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Honestly, motherhood was not isolating for me. Here in Canada, we are blessed

[Adrienne Ivey]:

with a one-year maternity leave where you get 50% of your wage for a whole

[Adrienne Ivey]:

year. So those maternity year leaves were isolating for sure. Like baby years

[Adrienne Ivey]:

were hard, but in general, when my kids were hard, I was going back to

[Adrienne Ivey]:

work. After that year was over, work provided me with a lot of social interactions.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It was a far greater adjustment for me when I stayed home full time on the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farm than when I had my babies, for sure. But that happens to coincide exactly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

with when I started my blog and started being a lot more active on social

[Adrienne Ivey]:

media. So... That again is the upside of social media. It's this whole

[Adrienne Ivey]:

new world of friendships and like-minded people and support system that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

otherwise I would never be able to find in my tiny little town that is

[Adrienne Ivey]:

still half an hour away or 15 minutes away, right? Like, so that has been

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the upside for me and how I managed through that part of it. I really did

[Adrienne Ivey]:

not enjoy my mat leave years. And I think probably looking back now, the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

isolation of those two specific years were probably a big part of why I didn't

[Adrienne Ivey]:

enjoy them as much. I mean, I love my babies, don't get me wrong, but they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

still, they were hard on me specifically. And I'm old enough that social

[Adrienne Ivey]:

media wasn't. a part of my maternity years, you know, 17 years ago, uh,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

they're, well, I don't even know if Instagram was alive yet, right? Uh,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so I think that's what I, where I would definitely tell other new moms to look

[Adrienne Ivey]:

for. And like you said, not to look for like-minded people in similar situations.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's reaching out to you too. And, and and figuring out where your online

[Adrienne Ivey]:

social connections are, or listening to podcasts like this, and understanding

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that, just like we talked about understanding that everybody has shit days

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on the farm, everybody has shit days as a mom, as a parent, as a caregiver,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right? Like, children are the most rewarding thing in the world, and they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are also the thing that drives us absolutely fucking bananas. whether they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are two months or 17 years old, like holy, their emotional investment

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in their wellbeing and also your sense of responsibility when things go

[Adrienne Ivey]:

wrong because things are gonna go wrong whether they're six months old or

[Adrienne Ivey]:

16, like it just happens. So understanding that you're not alone in those

[Adrienne Ivey]:

things I think is huge, but it's on us as remote rural. parents to sort

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that out and to not just bury ourselves and isolate ourselves even more.

hunter]:

Yeah, I know that I was going from working to my first maternity leave around

hunter]:

the same time as you. I have a 17 year old as well. And I think Facebook

hunter]:

was maybe just starting but like

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah.

hunter]:

we were on dial-up still. So you had to like log

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes!

hunter]:

on and go in. But it was such a culture shock to go from I was commuting

hunter]:

into the city and coming back to the farm at night or I was working shift

hunter]:

work. So some of the time I was coming back in the middle of the night.

hunter]:

So I was around but I didn't really know. anyone in my community. I wasn't

hunter]:

from here and so then I was off on my first year of maternity leave and

hunter]:

realizing I don't know anyone. Like I know my my mother-in-law and a couple

hunter]:

of my immediate neighbors but I don't know any other parents of young kids.

hunter]:

Like I have no mom friends and so it took a long time and work to actually

hunter]:

meet other people and you know not everyone has resources. You know like we're

hunter]:

not too far from a town where there were library and that kind of stuff and

hunter]:

so I could meet other parents of young kids but I know not everyone is close

hunter]:

enough to those things and you know we have the Canadian privilege of

hunter]:

having a year off where you know other people are and depending on your

hunter]:

farm situation too you may be going back to work within days of having

hunter]:

your baby too so those things are all different depending on where you live

hunter]:

and what your personal situation is.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, it's definitely a journey. And I think that looking back now, if I would

[Adrienne Ivey]:

have realized what a journey it is, and it's not just like, I need to find

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a best friend tomorrow kind of thing. It's my life is gonna change and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

progress and friendships are going to ebb and flow. And honestly, the easiest

[Adrienne Ivey]:

time of a parent's life, I think, or in my experience, to make that network

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is once your kids start to be in stuff. Right? So you all of a sudden

[Adrienne Ivey]:

your social life becomes the other parents that are on your kids' hockey

[Adrienne Ivey]:

team or their volleyball team or 4-H club or whatever it is that your kids

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are passionate about. That's where we spend all of our time. So. hopefully fingers crossed that there's some parents

[Adrienne Ivey]:

within that team or group that aren't total duds and you can actually form great relationships with.

hunter]:

Yeah, even if it's just for the hour that they're at practice or yeah in

hunter]:

the 4-H meeting or whatever to have someone else

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Absolutely.

hunter]:

to hang out with for a little while. So what do you enjoy most about raising

hunter]:

your kids out where you are out on the land and being farm kids, being

hunter]:

ranch kids?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it's really cool and it is that it's it's honestly such a privilege as

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farmers that we get to share a profession so much with our kids. You know

[Adrienne Ivey]:

if you compare it to a doctor or an accountant or so many other professions

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that their professional life is completely separate from their home and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

family life. Whereas our kids are everyday parts of our farm. been very,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

very conscious about involving our kids since the time that they were old

[Adrienne Ivey]:

enough to cart a five gallon pail across the yard to feed calves or whatever.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

There's been a lot of times where that's been a struggle because it would

[Adrienne Ivey]:

be far easier to either do it ourselves or to have one of the hired guys

[Adrienne Ivey]:

do it. But we've always really, really wanted and made it a priority for our

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kids to be involved. And now I'm so happy that we... that we went through

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that struggle and we tried so hard to do that because both of my kids,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

they're better equipment operators than I am. They're better at handling cattle

[Adrienne Ivey]:

than I am. So that's really great to see and they are still young enough

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that I don't know for sure if either of them will want to farm full time

[Adrienne Ivey]:

after, you know, into their adulthood, but they're definitely prepared

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to. You know, they have all the skills needed. So I think that is definitely

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the coolest part about farming with family. And, you know, it's not only a

[Adrienne Ivey]:

little bit easier probably for farmers to involve their kids like that,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but it's also just a cultural thing in agriculture that we do want to see

[Adrienne Ivey]:

our kids involved and that it's when you look around at other neighboring

[Adrienne Ivey]:

farms too. There's a lot of kids that are involved and that's, you know,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

when I think about my marketing off-farm job, sure, when I maybe have some

[Adrienne Ivey]:

discussions about that over the supper table, yeah, for sure, but it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

not the same as being immersed in it like farm kids are.

hunter]:

and it's harder to explain to your kids, you know, if you were... you

hunter]:

know, a doctor and you're operating on someone and be like, okay, and so then I

hunter]:

got the scalpel, you know, like versus like, let's go to the barn, there's

hunter]:

a cow calving or yeah, like we have to go to the field and go do this thing.

hunter]:

And to get to be

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

hunter]:

able to have them there and experience it and whether or not they understand

hunter]:

it when they're little or not doesn't matter. It's the fact that they've,

hunter]:

they've seen it and then they can ask questions or, you know, then

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yep.

hunter]:

they'll do it again the next season or see

[Adrienne Ivey]:

And

hunter]:

it again.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I also think it's important for them to see the shit show that happens

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on farms and the problem solving and how you navigate through all of the bad

[Adrienne Ivey]:

things. Because I think in today's day and age, a lot of kids don't see

[Adrienne Ivey]:

firsthand the adversity that their parents have to go through. Whereas right

[Adrienne Ivey]:

there, literally in front of our kids' faces.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ever their future holds for them, they will be better at navigating through

[Adrienne Ivey]:

adversity and figuring the shit out as it happens because they've seen

[Adrienne Ivey]:

us do it so much and now they're at the point where they're doing it too. You

[Adrienne Ivey]:

know, they're, my son was out swathing this past fall and he knocked a bunch

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of blades off and he had to, he was out in the middle of nowhere so he had

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to fix it himself. Perfect. That is great. You had to figure it out. and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that will bode well for him, even if he becomes a surgeon. Oh, you, something

[Adrienne Ivey]:

goes wrong in the surgery. It's an automatic, well, what do I do to figure

[Adrienne Ivey]:

this out?

hunter]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

I think that's

hunter]:

and for

[caite]:

such

hunter]:

better,

[caite]:

a good...

hunter]:

for worse. Sorry, I was just gonna say, and for better or worse, seeing

hunter]:

how we respond to that adversity too, where sometimes it might not always be

hunter]:

pretty, but if we're trying to model, okay, this happened and we're gonna

hunter]:

figure it out ourselves, or we're gonna ask for help, or we're gonna take

hunter]:

a minute and collect our thoughts and then start again, how we respond to the

hunter]:

things that are frustrating to us is hopefully we can give that as examples

hunter]:

how to proceed when things don't go the way you want them to.

[caite]:

I think too that's such a good point about our kids knowing what we do because so

[caite]:

many of us with, you know, I work from home but remotely and I found out the other

[caite]:

day that my six-year-old thinks I'm a ninja. You know, so them having a real understanding

[caite]:

of what we actually do and watching them, you know, my kids are younger but watching

[caite]:

them apply what they're learning in... useful ways. I mean, knowing math is a good

[caite]:

thing. Being able to count actual eggs while we're making dinner or while we're getting

[caite]:

them from the chicken coop is practical and makes sense to them, you know, and being

[caite]:

able to actually be helpful. I mean, little kids are basically the least helpful

[caite]:

creatures on Earth, but they really want to help, you know? And it's so nice to

[caite]:

have so many more opportunities to let them help with things that if they make

[caite]:

a mess, it doesn't matter as much as if they're making a mess in the house, you

[caite]:

know. And I know for us at least the teaching respect for living things. Arlene,

[caite]:

I did talk the girl child out of the live hamster because I pointed out that it

[caite]:

was probably going to get eaten. But just the, you know. You can't hit the dog just

[caite]:

because you're mad, because the dog is a living thing with feelings. We have to

[caite]:

feed cattle even if you don't want to, because they are living things. And I think

[caite]:

that's such a good extension of, we respect other people because they're living

[caite]:

things, to spread that to a wider basis. So tell us about all the horrible things that

[caite]:

your kids have done, and all the, what your biggest struggles have been. Because your

[caite]:

kids are old enough to have, like, really done some shit. My kids are still

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Ha ha

[caite]:

at

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ha!

[caite]:

the, like, they drew on the wall phase, which is irritating, but not, like, actively

[caite]:

dangerous.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, my son went through that phase too and that's I remember I distinctly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

still remember posting about that being like spankings will never go out

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of style in my house as long as drawing in the walls never goes out of style

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in my kid's life. Which, ugh, yeah, kids. And also he comes by it naturally

[Adrienne Ivey]:

because my husband when he was my kid's age at that time he not only spray

[Adrienne Ivey]:

painted the side of their machinery quonset, he spray painted his name. Like who

[Adrienne Ivey]:

did he think was gonna get blamed from that? Honestly. So, you know, genetics

[Adrienne Ivey]:

again are such a thing and sometimes you need to be more careful about

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the bully you choose. But my kids are pretty good. They, I mean, probably

[Adrienne Ivey]:

every mom says that. They drive me absolutely bonkers. What I think is the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

most amazing to me is how different the two of them are, the girl and the boy.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

And I don't know if it's just straight up different personalities or if it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that a girl is genetically that much different than a boy. But you know,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

my girl definitely went through the hormone phase and the mood swings and figuring

[Adrienne Ivey]:

all that part out. But she's always been pretty easy. She's very chill.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

she has not required a huge amount of parenting. And the boy is like bounce

[Adrienne Ivey]:

off the walls active, holes in walls, all sorts of stupid shit that just

[Adrienne Ivey]:

requires constant parenting. And they both have wonderful intentions, but

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I think that has been the hardest thing is to adjust the parenting to the kid.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

because they just require completely different things for me. Yeah, I yell at my

[Adrienne Ivey]:

son a lot, like probably more than is healthy. And yet if I raise my voice

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to my daughter at all, it is like instant regret because it just affects

[Adrienne Ivey]:

her completely differently. So I

hunter]:

Yeah,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

think

hunter]:

you just broke her heart.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that is the biggest thing. Yes, exactly. And usually the trouble that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

they get into is pretty unintentional. Like there's been some, well, my daughter,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you know, broke the bailer a couple years ago from not paying attention.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

My son, when he was four, tried to drive the quad through the garage door and,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you know, just dumb things that luckily nobody was injured doing. But

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so far, like knock on wood because I feel like I'm tempting karma here

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that they're kind of the police are going to show up at my door tomorrow or

[Adrienne Ivey]:

something because you know never say never About your kids doing bad things.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I think I'm thankful that my kids are growing up now and not even ten years

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ago I really feel for teenagers that had to figure out social media before

[Adrienne Ivey]:

We as adults had it figured out even, right? Like the idea that things

[Adrienne Ivey]:

live forever online and the stupid things that teenagers 10, 15 years ago

[Adrienne Ivey]:

would put on social media compared to now. Now you have to be really dumb to do

[Adrienne Ivey]:

some of those things whereas that gap generation between me and my kids

[Adrienne Ivey]:

didn't have it all figured out yet. So. But I'm even more thankful that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I grew up in a time that there wasn't cameras and phones, and so none of my

[Adrienne Ivey]:

dumb shit lives anywhere. Literally anywhere.

hunter]:

Same, yes, yeah, same, same, same.

[caite]:

I feel like

hunter]:

So one of the reasons.

[caite]:

that's such a thing we don't give kids credit for now too, is, you know, people say,

[caite]:

well, these dumb teenagers with their posting naked photos online, and like the only

[caite]:

reason we didn't was because we couldn't, because it wasn't a thing. Like, maybe you'd

[caite]:

take

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right?

[caite]:

a Polaroid and give it to somebody? Like what, you're not gonna go get those photos

[caite]:

developed? Like if you were gonna show your boobs to somebody, you had to like walk

[caite]:

up and show your boobs to them. And like... only

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

[caite]:

one person saw it, you know? Where now, like, there's not a time gap or any like

[caite]:

effort gap that makes them think about what they're doing. And

[Adrienne Ivey]:

rates.

[caite]:

adults aren't good at thinking about what we're doing when we do it. So there's

[caite]:

no way in hell teenagers should be. And it's not fair to blame them for doing stupid

[caite]:

shit when they've got... ways to do stupid shit that we never even dreamed of.

[caite]:

You know?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's so

[caite]:

And...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

true.

[caite]:

Anyway. They

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

probably still

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so

[caite]:

shouldn't

[Adrienne Ivey]:

far my

[caite]:

be showing

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kid

[caite]:

their

[Adrienne Ivey]:

first.

[caite]:

boobs on the internet, but...

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So far my kids are smarter than I was at that age, so really what more

[Adrienne Ivey]:

could I ask for? They're still gonna do dumb shit. Hopefully it just continues

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to be less dumb shit than I did.

[caite]:

I just hope my kids

hunter]:

a

[caite]:

do

hunter]:

good

[caite]:

new

hunter]:

threshold.

[caite]:

dumb shit.

hunter]:

New

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah,

hunter]:

and innovative.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

yeah, invent some new things.

hunter]:

Yeah. So one of the reasons

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Have

hunter]:

that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

an adventure.

hunter]:

I wanted to have you on, yeah, was to talk about teens, which we're doing.

hunter]:

But what do you love about the ages that they're at right now versus when

hunter]:

they were little guys? What do you love about having teenagers in your

hunter]:

house? Because it seems like we only ever talk about the bad stuff.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right, I think honestly, this is my favorite stage of parenting hands down

[Adrienne Ivey]:

easily. I love this stage and I think it's because my kids have found the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

things that they're passionate about and you know when they're little and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you're carting them to like hockey practice and swim lessons and band and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

piano and like all of the things because they still just don't know what they

[Adrienne Ivey]:

like or what they don't. Whereas now like my son is so passionate about hockey.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

He is on the ice almost every day of the week and he is working out at the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

gym and worried about nutrition and sleep habits and all these things like

[Adrienne Ivey]:

he lives it completely eats breathe sleeps it and It's just really cool

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to watch that progression My daughter's really into horses. She shows raining

[Adrienne Ivey]:

horses and You know the work and dedication that that requires I Think it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just so cool that I not only get to be along for the ride like who am I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kidding? I am the ride because I'm still chauffeuring them around everywhere,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but I just get to watch them not only choose their things but but really

[Adrienne Ivey]:

get good at it and and want to work hard at it. That just is so exciting

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to me and means that I'm so excited to see that work ethic in them as adults

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and that they're learning now how much of a difference that their hard work

[Adrienne Ivey]:

on stuff. Like for example, with my son, how hard he works off the ice

[Adrienne Ivey]:

directly relates to how his success on the ice. and that he can clearly

[Adrienne Ivey]:

see that and is learning that and watching him learn that, I just think it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so fun. I just love it. You know, all the other hard parts about teenagers

[Adrienne Ivey]:

balancing their passions with their schoolwork and with their social lives

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and trying to sort all that out, especially in a small town where your

[Adrienne Ivey]:

circle is very small. Sometimes... I don't know what it's like down in the States,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

but, or even out East, but sometimes small towns, Saskatchewan means that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

there are, there are certain people in your town that don't like to see

[Adrienne Ivey]:

other people succeed, which really sucks. But also at the same time, choosing

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to step above that and pushing yourself and seeking out greater opportunities

[Adrienne Ivey]:

than what can be found right here at home. That's a big, a big thing for

[Adrienne Ivey]:

my kids. And also a big reason why there will be no option for them to stay

[Adrienne Ivey]:

home as soon as they're done high school You are always welcome to come

[Adrienne Ivey]:

back, but you have to go away for a while wherever that is whether that's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to university or learning a trade or Working somewhere else or traveling

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the world like don't care what you want to go do great, but you can come back

[Adrienne Ivey]:

later But you have to go

hunter]:

Yeah, there's something about, you know, kind of being in a small town. So

hunter]:

it, I mean, it teaches us that we have to learn to get along with people because,

hunter]:

you know, if you're on a farm, you're not going anywhere. So

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

hunter]:

but but yeah, we also want to give our kids those opportunities to just

hunter]:

spread their wings a bit and see that there is a world out there. And then

hunter]:

if they choose to come back afterwards, then that's great. And if they

hunter]:

find something else that they're passionate about, then that's amazing, too.

hunter]:

Right.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Mm-hmm.

[caite]:

Sorry, I muted myself. So if someone was asking for your advice as a ranch parent,

[caite]:

what would you tell them?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

tell them first of all definitely work hard to get your kids involved on the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ranch and on the farm. As much as we have that privilege and that availability

[Adrienne Ivey]:

here it's not easy and a lot of farms now I see aren't choosing to go down

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that path. A lot of farm kids are raised no different than town kids in that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

they aren't directly involved on the farm. That segment I think is growing

[Adrienne Ivey]:

every day. because as farms grow bigger, it is harder to keep your kids

[Adrienne Ivey]:

involved. I would also say as much as my kids are passionate about their

[Adrienne Ivey]:

activities, about their sports and whatnot, it also has been a priority of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

mine to make sure that they balance that with having a social life, which

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is hard because it's not. I don't know if there's many parents out there

[Adrienne Ivey]:

saying, why don't you take the night off and go hang out with friends?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

But I think it's important that they learn that balance early on as well.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It's really easy to get caught up in the grind, not only of the farm, but

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of hockey or horses or whatever the passion is. And I think when I look back

[Adrienne Ivey]:

at my life and my husband's life, balance isn't something. isn't the notion

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of balance wasn't something that we were raised with. So it's it is something

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that I want to see my kids be aware of and you know the navigation through

[Adrienne Ivey]:

that. And then I would say that when it comes to teenagers every parent

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of younger kids thinks that it will be easier as the older the kids get

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the easier it will get. But the reality is the complete opposite. My kids

[Adrienne Ivey]:

need me more now than they probably did as toddlers. Like when they're

[Adrienne Ivey]:

toddlers, anybody can play with them, anybody can feed them and clothe

[Adrienne Ivey]:

them and you know, whereas time with mom and dad is completely different

[Adrienne Ivey]:

now, or whoever the caregiver is. I think that there's a very different emotional

[Adrienne Ivey]:

need and it's not that we're sitting and specifically talking about our

[Adrienne Ivey]:

feelings every single day. but it's just being there and the time in the

[Adrienne Ivey]:

car and the time at the supper table and all of that is far more important

[Adrienne Ivey]:

now than it's ever been.

hunter]:

That's a good reminder. The one thing that I found pandemic life difficult

hunter]:

in, I mean, for lots of ways, but with older kids was they weren't getting

hunter]:

that social time with their friends. And I think now it's it's almost a

hunter]:

little bit harder. Like, I have to push more, I think, now than, you know,

hunter]:

when I was a teenager, it was the other way around where it was like, can

hunter]:

you drive me here? Can you drive me to my friend's house? And now I'm

hunter]:

like, do you want to see your friends? Like, do you want me to? You know,

hunter]:

they they they talk online. feels like, you know, they see each other at

hunter]:

school and then they're like, yeah, you know, we'll just talk on Snapchat

hunter]:

or whatever and they don't need to actually hang out. But I'm like, you

hunter]:

could actually like be in the same room. You could go do something together.

hunter]:

You don't, you don't have to just talk, you know, virtually. You could actually

hunter]:

go and do something together. So I think that was a bit of a change that

hunter]:

I didn't, didn't really think about until the last year.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes, same here. Absolutely the same thing here. And I don't just see it

[Adrienne Ivey]:

with my kids. I see it with all teenagers now. They just, they do less

[Adrienne Ivey]:

together. And I don't know if it is a social media Snapchat thing or if

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it is the hangover of the pandemic, but yeah, they are far less social. Lots of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

them are far less active in sports or activities or whatever. I think it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a very different time to pair. parent through for teenagers, for sure.

[caite]:

I know I have to say that I appreciate that my kids are still little enough that,

[caite]:

like, I do look forward to the day that they can shower by themselves and, like,

[caite]:

zip their own coats and that sort of, that aspect of parenting. But it is nice right

[caite]:

now that when my daughter comes home complaining about school it's that somebody

[caite]:

accidentally tripped her during gym class and it's not, you know, so-and-so said

[caite]:

they don't want to be by date for prom or whatever, like... They're big problems to

[caite]:

little people, but they're not big problems to big people, where it seems like

[caite]:

teenagers have the capability to get into a lot more trouble than little ones do.

[caite]:

You know, I mean, my kids don't go anywhere that I don't take them. They don't

[caite]:

buy anything that I don't buy for them. Like, there's no, you know, they're pretty

[caite]:

limited in what they can get up to, you know, especially living this far from town.

[caite]:

It's, uh, uh, teenagers. All right.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Definitely the bonus of living in small towns or by small towns is that everybody

[Adrienne Ivey]:

knows everything. So when my kids be in a shithead, I'm gonna hear about

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it within 24 hours, guaranteed. Which is really a good thing. I can't imagine

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the difficulties of raising kids in large urban centres where you literally

[Adrienne Ivey]:

don't know any of your neighbours or... have a different connection point even

[Adrienne Ivey]:

with the school. It would be, as someone who has only lived in urban centers

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to go to university, I can't even imagine navigating that. That would be

[Adrienne Ivey]:

completely out of my realm of experience.

[caite]:

Yeah, it is, you know, my kids are in a small community daycare in a small public

[caite]:

school and it is really nice to know the other kids' parents and, you know, I hear

[caite]:

about shit my kids have gotten up to before they get home from daycare, you know,

[caite]:

and it's nice to be able to ask about other kids' families and other kids' parents

[caite]:

and, you know, sort of vet people that way. And it is. As stifling as small towns

[caite]:

can be, it is nice to have that overview.

[caite]:

So we ask all of our guests if you were going to dominate a category at a county

[caite]:

fair, what would it be? And categories can be real or made up.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well, I grew up traveling the county equivalent of county fairs here in Saskatchewan,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

showing horses. So I have a lot of experience. My whole summers would be

[Adrienne Ivey]:

spent at fairs. And so I will say the number one most important thing about

[Adrienne Ivey]:

fair life is to understand that to never ever make eye contact with a

[Adrienne Ivey]:

carney. because then you're getting sucked in for something. And especially

[Adrienne Ivey]:

if you're a teenage girl, then really don't make eye contact with a Kearney.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

But I would, so I would rock the horse show aspect of it. You throw me on

[Adrienne Ivey]:

horse and I can make you go do some fun stuff. But as for, you know, normal

[Adrienne Ivey]:

county fair stuff now, I would be the queen at doing food reviews of all of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the food booths. That is what I would want to do now. And

hunter]:

Oh.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the weirder the food the more fun it would be. I think I can I can definitely

[Adrienne Ivey]:

see myself going down that path and just like traveling to every fair

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and doing reviews on the corndogs and the elephant ears and the up here poutine,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

very important, and figuring out, you know, what all the best food spots

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are.

hunter]:

a good one. I was thinking you were going to say like judging like you

hunter]:

know the pies and stuff you know that people enter but I like your your

hunter]:

version too that uh that it's a it's both a service that you're offering

hunter]:

the community and something that you're uh you would enjoy as well. So

hunter]:

I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Exactly.

hunter]:

guess we'll move ahead

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Mostly

hunter]:

into

[Adrienne Ivey]:

selfishly

hunter]:

our

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I would just enjoy it.

hunter]:

well well yeah but then you can warn other people if the

hunter]:

So we'll go ahead and move into our Cussing and Discussing segment. We've

hunter]:

registered for an online platform so listeners can leave their Cussing and Discussing

hunter]:

entries for us and we will play them on the show. So go to speakpipe.com

hunter]:

backslash barnyardlanguage and leave us a voice memo or you can always

hunter]:

send us an email at barnyardlanguage.gmail.com or check the show notes and the links should

hunter]:

be there. So Katie, what have you got to Cuss and Discuss this week?

[caite]:

that people take this in the not intended to be offensive manner in which it may or may

[caite]:

not come out. I really wish that there was some sort of remedial girliness classes

[caite]:

for those of us who were not raised by girly people because like I'm looking at

[caite]:

Adrienne and I'm like you know what I bet her kid shows up to county fair with

[caite]:

like her hair braided right and her horse's hair braided right and like

hunter]:

Oh, she's shaking her head. No, you can't see it, people. But Adrienne

hunter]:

says that's

[caite]:

My

hunter]:

not

[caite]:

daughter

hunter]:

a thing.

[caite]:

keeps asking to grow her hair out, and I'm like, honey, I don't, like, I can't

[caite]:

be in charge of this. I keep my hair short because I can't deal with it. And by

[caite]:

short, I do not mean when people say, oh, I have short hair because it's only to

[caite]:

my shoulders. I mean, no, mine is like two inches. And so I just feel a little bad

[caite]:

that I can't, I am not good at the girly girl stuff that my girly girl daughter

[caite]:

wants to do. And I just... Part of me was, you know... I mean, I was raised by

[caite]:

a strong, hippie feminist, and part of me is like, well, to hell with the, you

[caite]:

know, the status quo of girly girlness. But also, my kid really likes it, and it's

[caite]:

not hurting anything. But I'm not good at it, and it makes me grumpy. So there's...

hunter]:

I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Oh,

hunter]:

still

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I

hunter]:

can't do

[Adrienne Ivey]:

so...

hunter]:

a French braid.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

me neither! I cannot, I can, I can braid a horse's tail because it's big

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and right there and that's about it. Like, oh, I can't, it has taken me

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a very, very long time to figure out how to actually like properly apply mascara,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

let alone all the contouring and stuff that people do now that I don't even

[Adrienne Ivey]:

actually know what that means. let alone be able to do it myself.

hunter]:

No,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So,

hunter]:

there's too many brushes

[Adrienne Ivey]:

and that's why

hunter]:

and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

my hair

hunter]:

sponges.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is long is because, yes, the only thing that I can do is a ponytail and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I don't do that pretty, I do that like functional. So.

[caite]:

I end up getting mine caught in car doors when it's longer. So it seemed like,

[caite]:

no, legitimately it has happened multiple times. It seems like a safety thing at this

[caite]:

point to not, like,

hunter]:

That must be very long hair. It's

[caite]:

no,

hunter]:

one

[caite]:

it just,

hunter]:

extreme or the other, with you, Katie. I

[caite]:

I

hunter]:

never

[caite]:

have

hunter]:

bought a

[caite]:

a lot

hunter]:

hair.

[caite]:

of it. Yeah. It doesn't take much. Anyway.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Well, if there's those remedial classes sign me up to, I'll join you over Zoom

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to do them because I got a lot of learning to do in that area too, which

[Adrienne Ivey]:

also did not help my daughter at all. She luckily was not very into that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

stuff, but now that she is a teenager and she would like to occasionally,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you know, apply some makeup or do her hair, and I'm like, I don't know,

[Adrienne Ivey]:

here's the one thing that I can do. So,

hunter]:

That's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

you

hunter]:

what

[Adrienne Ivey]:

know,

hunter]:

YouTube's for.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

right?

hunter]:

There's millions of makeup tutorials. I'm not going to watch them, but

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah.

hunter]:

if my daughter wants to figure it out, then yeah.

[caite]:

I will say I'm really...

hunter]:

That's the good side of social media.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

[caite]:

I am really proud though that the little boy last night after his bath asked if we could

[caite]:

do nail polish so he could be extra pretty. I was like, well, maybe we can

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Aww.

[caite]:

do it tomorrow right after school so it'll be dry, but absolutely. You know, and

[caite]:

then he wants like green and blue so it can be like John Deere and New Holland,

[caite]:

you know, because we're that family, but

hunter]:

Yeah,

[caite]:

that's fine.

hunter]:

the farm nail polish.

[caite]:

Yeah.

hunter]:

Perfect. Have you got any orange?

[caite]:

I was just thinking about the repercussions of a makeup line for farm kids. Anyway, Adrian,

[caite]:

what do you have to custom discuss?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So what has been annoying me lately has been personal space. So perhaps

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it's because I live in the middle of nowhere. But so I frequently have

[Adrienne Ivey]:

to head into the city to hit up Costco, which I think maybe is called Sam's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Club down in the States or is there Costco down there too?

[caite]:

two

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Um,

[caite]:

separate businesses. Costco

[Adrienne Ivey]:

okay.

[caite]:

is my happy place though, so I gotcha.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah, well it can be mine too because I love what they sell and I love buying

[Adrienne Ivey]:

in bulk and all of that but people's lack of personal space in today's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

day and age, I just can't handle it and like you there's we're in a giant warehouse.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

There's no need to like press yourself up against me or your cart or whatever

[Adrienne Ivey]:

like my personal space bubble maybe is quite large but I just every time

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I go to the city now I just am like cringing constantly at the people that

[Adrienne Ivey]:

are like right up in your grill and for what

hunter]:

And

[Adrienne Ivey]:

just

hunter]:

you'd think

[Adrienne Ivey]:

take

hunter]:

we

[Adrienne Ivey]:

a

hunter]:

would

[Adrienne Ivey]:

step

hunter]:

have been

[Adrienne Ivey]:

back

hunter]:

getting better at this, right? Like, use this, like, let's stick

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah!

hunter]:

with the six to eight feet, or whatever the rules were before, when we

hunter]:

had to stay away from

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right.

hunter]:

each other. I'm okay with keeping that rule forever.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Ditto.

hunter]:

we can, a full cart length is good.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

admit that when people do shit like getting in line behind you and then they just

[caite]:

get closer and closer like that's magically gonna make things faster I will unload my cart

[caite]:

so slowly because I refuse to reward that behavior by actually hurrying

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah.

[caite]:

Arlene, what do you have to discuss today?

hunter]:

So I didn't actually have anything written down and I figured I would get inspired

hunter]:

as we were talking. And so one thing that I've been thinking about is

hunter]:

as our kids get older, they get more independent, which is fantastic. But

hunter]:

I would still like a little bit of communication from the school once in

hunter]:

a while. And it feels like it's completely dropped off. And... That could

hunter]:

be that everything's perfectly fine and there's no issues, or it could be

hunter]:

that my kid is messing up and I'm not going to find out until I get a report

hunter]:

card, or they've been suspended or something. Like I really have no idea because,

hunter]:

and I don't want to be super gendered about it, but my boys give me so little

hunter]:

detail about what goes on in their daily life that I really have no concept

hunter]:

far as like to contact like the the friends parents and be like so how

hunter]:

are things at school for my kid maybe your daughter has told me because

hunter]:

I know that they're friends with each other so yeah I just like I don't

hunter]:

need like the daily progress reports like we used to get when they were

hunter]:

in elementary school but I don't know maybe an email once every couple

hunter]:

of weeks to be nice but I know that teachers are overworked so I shouldn't

hunter]:

ask for too much but like just a few hints

[Adrienne Ivey]:

It is true and I find that in our school there is a massive difference

[Adrienne Ivey]:

from teacher to teacher on what communication looks like.

hunter]:

Mm-hmm.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

There are all, thanks probably to COVID, there are all sorts of communication

[Adrienne Ivey]:

tools available now that that our school as a whole can utilize and some

[Adrienne Ivey]:

teachers choose to and some choose very much not to and I think perhaps

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it just comes down to personal preference and also different levels of personal

[Adrienne Ivey]:

organization.

hunter]:

Yeah, I don't doubt the teachers have a ton of things going on, but I guess

hunter]:

as I've got one in grade nine, as a new high school student, I'm struggling

hunter]:

with the adjusting to no communication coming from the school. And I guess we're in

hunter]:

exam week, so I mean in another week or two, we'll get that report card and

hunter]:

we'll find out

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Right.

hunter]:

what

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Today

hunter]:

happened

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is report

hunter]:

this semester.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

card day for our kids. So I'm going to find out today. Uh,

hunter]:

Yeah, today was

[Adrienne Ivey]:

both

hunter]:

our

[Adrienne Ivey]:

of my

hunter]:

last

[Adrienne Ivey]:

kids.

hunter]:

day of exams, so we're pretty close.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Okay.

hunter]:

Yeah. Sounds good.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yeah. So both of my kids miss a lot of school for their respective sports.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Um, which I'm not worried about because they both excel at school, but also

[Adrienne Ivey]:

my grade nine or same thing. Like it's a different level of communication

[Adrienne Ivey]:

even between him and his teachers right now as to whether or not they are. communicating

[Adrienne Ivey]:

with him specific assignments that he's missed or things like that. And we

[Adrienne Ivey]:

always, we tell both of our kids when you are missing school, then it's

[Adrienne Ivey]:

no one else's job to chase you. You need to approach your teachers and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

ask them for what you're missing. But I then am completely out of the loop and

hunter]:

Yeah, hopefully that's happening.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

there have been specific classes where it's been a struggle and the marks have

[Adrienne Ivey]:

shown that. So yeah, I would agree. It's a struggle, definitely.

hunter]:

Yeah, and we go from knowing every single thing about our kids, right? From

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes!

hunter]:

their favorite color to whether they had a bath last night or not to, yeah,

hunter]:

hardly feeling like we don't know anything anymore. Oh, kids.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

Yes.

hunter]:

All right. Thank you so much, Adrienne, for joining us today on the podcast.

hunter]:

If people want to follow you online or get in touch, where should they find

hunter]:

you?

[Adrienne Ivey]:

So on Instagram and Facebook it's view from the ranch porch you can search

[Adrienne Ivey]:

me up there. Twitter is under my own name, Adrienne Ivy, the blog that I

[Adrienne Ivey]:

haven't wrote anything on in two years you know but you can always search

[Adrienne Ivey]:

it up it's view from the ranch

hunter]:

Yeah.

[Adrienne Ivey]:

porch.com I don't know why you would want to but Instagram definitely

[Adrienne Ivey]:

is where I spend most of my time It's where I met you lovely ladies and

[Adrienne Ivey]:

definitely where my happy place is. So that's where I hope to meet some of

[Adrienne Ivey]:

the people listening so that I can follow back.

hunter]:

Thank you so much, it was great to talk to you.

[caite]:

Thanks for coming

[Adrienne Ivey]:

I appreciate

[caite]:

on, Adrienne.

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About the Podcast

Barnyard Language
Real talk about running farms and raising families.
Real talk about running farms and raising families. Whether your farm is a raised bed in your backyard or 10,000 acres and whether your family is in the planning stages or you've got 12 kids, we're glad you found us!

No sales, no religious conversion, no drama. Just honest talk from two mamas who know what it's like when everyone is telling you to just get all your meals delivered and do all your shopping online, but your internet is too slow and you've got cows to feed.

About your host

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Caithlin Palmer